“The Fast Track to Becoming a Monk”

May 28, 20244 min read

Last week I shaved my head.

Yep. You read that right.

Why? Well, I think a much better question is, “Why not?”

Now I’ll be the first to admit that I look funny. I have a small head anyway, but shaving it made it quite obvious how small it is. 😆 As soon as I did the buzz right down the middle, I busted up laughing and exclaimed, "I look like a monk!”

But ya know what? I’m okay with that. I had this deep yearning inside to take it all off and have a fresh start. You see, I have had long hair most of my life. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago, as I neared age 40, that I started experimenting. I took it slow - cutting it in stages. The shorter I cut it, the more I liked it. However, I felt stuck in the same hairstyle after having it pretty short for the past couple of years.

If you know me, you know that feeling stuck or trapped makes me crazy. I spent most of my life trapped in a cult, stuck in religion, so I am super sensitive to it. I have promised myself complete freedom and total autonomy over my life. Buzzing my head felt like taking my control back and breaking free from the belief that it’s my hair that makes me attractive. Also, I get tired of having to rely on others to cut my hair. Even though I wasn’t in love with how I looked, as I slowly shaved my head, I felt a beautiful feeling of freedom. I couldn’t help but smile with pure joy.

There are specific messages that our culture desperately wants us to believe. Women are told that we need to spend a lot of time on our faces and our hair or we won’t be valued in the world. Men get to wake up, maybe brush their teeth, maybe wet and comb their hair real quick, throw on a suit, and head out the door confidently. Women on the other hand, well we have to plan in a couple of hours of preparation, otherwise, people look at us strangely and assume we had a rough morning. I heard one lady say that if she doesn’t wear mascara to work every day, people ask her if she is sick. I think it’s absurd that if we are out in public, we are expected to show up looking like we are ready to go on TV.

Now, before you think I am bashing makeup, I promise you I am not. I never wore makeup for the first 36 years of my life because I was told it was evil. For real. The last 4 years have been so fucking awesome to let go of that ridiculous belief and start exploring the world of makeup! Even though I find it kind of annoying and time-consuming because I’m a very practical person, I still love how it makes me look and I plan to wear it whenever the hell I want to.

But that’s the thing. I want to wear it whenever I WANT to and not wear it because our culture says I HAVE to. This is also how I feel about my hair. I don’t want to be afraid to shave my head because I worry people will lose respect for me. If my hair or my makeup is what people love about me, well then…those people can fuck off.

It’s my life; it’s my body. If a buzz brings me joy, then I will always choose joy. If putting on makeup that day makes me feel trapped in an unhealthy belief, then I’m heading out plain and free.

I’ll tell ya one thing, my head feels so cool! Jenna said she wanted to rub it as she fell asleep. 😄 Every time I see myself in a mirror I chuckle with surprise because I keep forgetting what I look like. It’s like a little joyful reminder to keep busting down the walls and breaking the barriers. It’s never a one-and-done thing. It takes continual awareness and vigilance to notice and unsubscribe from the toxic messages sabotaging our minds.

You, my love, you are perfect. You don’t NEED fancy hair or a face covered in paint. If you are in the mood and feeling funky and creative, knock yourself out! But if you wake up and look in the mirror and the thought enters your mind that you look boring and plain, please know that this isn’t the truth. You get to choose how you want to show up every day, and the most important person for you to please is and will always be yourself.

Start and end with love - and never be afraid to explore and try something new!

Who knows? You might just love how it makes you feel.

Freedom always feels good.