Permission to Deviate!

Dec 26, 20234 min read

I love lists. I love a solid plan. I love having my week figured out ahead of time. I love knowing what I need to do and exactly how I will get it all done. It brings me peace but it also gives me a sense of control.

I think I can speak for almost all mankind: We like control. When things feel out of our control, well, that is when our stress skyrockets. The funny thing, though, is that sometimes my list or plan for the week becomes like my master. Suddenly I find myself being ruled by my routine. I get stressed because it starts feeling like a trap instead of an assistant.

My weekly routine is important to me. As I mentioned already, having a plan in place can help me streamline my to-do list while also still prioritizing the things I care about. But life has a way of reminding us that we aren’t really in control of much. Fun times.

For the most part, I have learned to be flexible, but sometimes I find myself clutching my usual routine and attempting to cram too many things into one day. I’ve been known to be so unrealistic that eventually, my physical body collapses with some sort of injury that forces me to slow down and do less. I know. It’s bad. I am working on getting better.

This week I almost did it again. I had some extra things that got added to my weekly routine and, as usual, I went right to analyzing how I could smash it all in. Luckily, Jennifer and my oldest daughter were sitting on the couch with me as I was strategically planning out loud.

They spoke up. “That’s crazy. You are going to overdo it and hurt yourself.”

“ I can do it,” I indignantly replied.

“That’s not the point,” they said.

This sort of conversation used to make me dig my heels in just so I could prove to people that I was highly capable. I thought I was proving how awesome I was, but turns out I was just proving how dumb I was. Whoops.

Do you know how oftentimes the things that are our strengths can also be our weaknesses? Determination has always been something I am seriously good at. I can do anything I put my mind to. But as I grow older, I am learning that determination is supposed to serve you well, not end you in bed with multiple injuries. A hard life lesson but an important one.

Back to the couch story. As I sat there tempted to defend and prove myself, wisdom came knocking at my mind - and this time I heard it.

I took a deep breath and opened my mind.

I could feel peace surge into my lungs.

I exhaled and let go.

With help from my family, I rearranged my schedule. I lightened the load. I changed things up and, to my surprise, it felt good. I guess I was surprised because I thought permitting myself to do less would make me feel like a loser. My self-esteem is usually higher when I am accomplishing a lot, but on the other hand, I also end up exhausted and grumpy. It's like a catch-22.

I don’t want my worth to be tied up in how much I can smash into 24 hours or how devoted I am to my routine. I am tired of feeling like I have to prove myself to people. I hate feeling chained to my schedule for fear of becoming a lazy person.

This is how I change. First noticing, then implementing.

Little steps like this: I changed my bike-to-type day and decided to do fewer miles so that I could have a quieter day at home to blog.

This allowed me to take a scenic route through the country I rarely ride in. It was interesting because I rode from the opposite direction of what I had done previously and it felt like a whole new route! That simple change invigorated my brain and caused me to see the countryside from a new perspective. I came home feeling refreshed!

Plans are important. Making and having a plan can be extremely helpful, but the ability to deviate from that plan can be just as valuable of a tool.

Life is too precious to waste on being a “Stickler”. I don’t ever want to get so set on something that I miss all the beautiful opportunities to deviate and find a better way.

Today I give you permission to deviate. Maybe your schedule or your routine has worked well in the past but they just aren’t serving you as well now. Take some time to open your mind and allow new possibilities to arise. Explore what might feel better without instantly judging yourself. I know it’s hard, but I promise you that if you lean in, you’re gonna love it so much more than pushing yourself to exhaustion.

Plans are good

Until they’re not

Don’t get stuck

With the plan you got

Be prepared

To deviate

Discard the old

And recreate!