Nobody Likes Bullies

I haven’t felt up to par this week, which is why I chose to bike into my small town of Ash Grove instead of Springfield.

We didn’t move to Ash Grove, though, because we were looking for a small-town experience. It was just the only place close enough to the big city with property our family could afford.

Honestly, I’ve had my share of small towns. Moving to our new home 4 months ago was the beginning of a fresh start for our family. Previously, we had lived in Seneca - which did not turn out to be a very kind community for newcomers, or really anyone who didn’t fit into their narrow-minded boxes.

So far, Ash Grove has felt okay. There have been some issues with the school but we spoke up and people have responded fairly decent. The jr. and high schoolers here are immature and unaware when it comes to including new students but maybe that’s to be expected when you grow up in an area where your family has been here for generations. Nobody knows how to include newcomers. The town graveyard is directly across from the high school. I reckon it makes it convenient for the majority who are born here, go to school here, work here, and then cross the street to die here.

You probably think I sound cynical. Maybe I sound frustrated. Well, that’s because I am.

This week my family received a letter in the mail. It wasn’t the kind of mail that made our hearts jump for joy. Nope. It was hate mail.

My heart feels so heavy right now. Even my fingers feel heavy - as if someone has tried to suck all of the life out of me.

It’s crazy how words can affect us - how much power they can have - how one can simply write different strokes with a pen onto a piece of paper and then use that piece of paper to spread fear and hate. WTF.

I don’t have the energy to explain the whole letter but the point of it was very clear. Here is the summary:

“The people in this area are conservative Christians who do not appreciate your displays of personal choices or beliefs AND most of us are members of the N.R.A. (National Rifle Association).”

We have pride flags in our yard. Shame on us. Apparently, this is VERY offensive to the members of our small community. Never mind the fact that plenty of other people in this area have no trouble putting out flags and signs that support their personal choices and beliefs. Some people even have entire “Trump” displays that take up half their field for god’s sake. One person has a huge sign right by the road that says, “Honk for Trump”. Can you imagine if I put up a “Honk if you love Kamala” sign? I’m scared to find out. I wouldn’t put anything past these conservative Christians.

Ya know, I hear a lot of Republicans talking about how our world is going to hell in a handbag. These people are hardcore Christians who speak about how far we have gotten from our founding fathers and how we need to get back to our foundation. I am not going to pretend I have any sort of insight into Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, or John Adams - nor do I believe that anyone else should assume they understand why things were decided the way they were. All we have is what information people have written down - but let’s remember it’s just that. It’s limited, and we are kidding ourselves to think that our forefathers had it all right but now everything has gotten way out of hand. This world has NEVER been a perfect place. The founding fathers all had tons of slaves and lots of land. They had it pretty well made so as long as the constitution covered their asses they weren’t too worried about freedom and equal rights for ALL mankind. Let’s remember that their wives weren’t at that meeting. They were busy birthing babies and making dinner for those “hard-working men” at such an important meeting for hours. Poor souls.

Anyway, I digress. My point is, it’s juvenile and ignorant to argue that we need to go back. Back to what? Slaves? Women having no rights? Old white men controlling and deciding everything? Hell no. Going backward never served anyone. Forward is the only way to make progress. No one succeeded in climbing Mt. Everest by going backward. It just doesn’t even make sense people.

I believe the reason conservative Christians are freaking out is because they are afraid. They are afraid of change. They are afraid of the unknown. They are afraid of what they don’t understand. But they are so busy being terrified of their future that they fail to recognize the ugly truth that some of the most hateful, dangerous people in our society are THEMSELVES.

I am not afraid of the Harley Davidson dudes dressed in black leather.

I am not afraid of the homeless people wandering the streets.

I am not afraid of the drag queens.

No. What I am afraid of is, (and I quote from the hate letter we received), “bible-believing conservative Christians”.

I sit here smack in the middle of my small town and I can’t stop the tears welling in my eyes. Why does the Christian religion create such hateful humans who want to hurt my family? What the fuck did we ever do to anyone? If they just took one moment, one fucking moment, to get to know us they would see what delightful people we are.

But no, they won’t even give us a chance. They want us to hide away in shame of who we are. They want to silence us. Our very presence makes them uncomfortable because we refuse to live in their suffocating boxes.

Well, I have news for whoever wrote that letter.

“We will not allow your threats to scare us into shrinking back. We are done living our lives in a way that pleases others. It’s our life, our choice, and our goddamn right to pursue happiness. If you want to talk about how America was founded then do your homework. The Declaration of Independence clearly states “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain, unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Life…liberty…and happiness. Everyone has a right to these things. Your Trump flags make you happy, and my pride flags make me happy. Stop imposing rules on me that you aren’t willing to play by.

So no, we will NOT be taking down our flags. Your letter shows how miserable and stuck you are. It also makes it very apparent that you are a bully. No one likes bullies. You must live a pretty sad and lonely life since you are spending all your time putting your nose in other people’s business.

My hope for you is that someday you will notice the joyful birds singing songs, the delicious smell of the flowers all around, and the amazing gift of even being a part of this beautiful world. That curiosity would bloom inside you and your need for control and harsh judgment would fade away as you fell deeper in love with life. If you view this world through the lens of fear you will never see all the beauty right in front of you. I dare you to be brave. Step outside your box. There is a whole world out here just waiting to be discovered full of fucking amazing people! Some of those people live right down the road from you.

One last thing: I filed a police report. The sheriff came out to our house and confirmed that the letter was definitely second-degree harassment. Your behavior is unacceptable and we will not put up with it. Instead of worrying about our flag, please do yourself a favor and go see a therapist.”

I have to believe that not everyone in Ash Grove feels the way this person does. I sure hope not.

What now? Forward. We sure as hell ain’t going backward. To all my fellow humans out there who have been shamed, bullied, and threatened. You amaze me. Your example of how you continue to live authentically inspires and empowers me to do the same.

Thank you. Together we shine an undeniably beautiful light. I am honored to be a part of the queer community. Let’s keep flying those flags and fucking the boxes.

#rebel

#irefusetobesilenced

#fuckersusefeartocontrolothers