“How Happy Are You?”
Recently, Nate was talking about a “Happy Survey” that he encountered online.
The survey says “Imagine a ladder and think about your current life. The top rung, 10, represents the best possible life, and the bottom rung, 0, represents the worst. Pick your number.” (You can read the whole article here) https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2024/03/20/1239537074/u-s-drops-in-new-global-happiness-ranking-one-age-group-bucks-the-trend
Nate said he was a nine, and Jennifer said she was a seven. I frowned and replied, “Well I must not be very happy because I am a five.” This led to an interesting conversation about how we view life.
Nate is extremely happy because we are actively moving in the direction of selling our house and moving away to build a new life together as a queer family. So even though we are still in the chaotic middle, he feels hopeful and excited. The change that is already happening makes it a solid nine. 🙂
Jenna said realistically she thought she was a six but then that felt too low so she said seven. (Sounds like she is still learning to not sugarcoat things. 🙃) Truthfully though, she does well at staying positive during shittiness but I think this was her coping skill from her former, stressful life. She explained that she is looking forward to a new home and a new start which makes her extremely happy but realistically we still have a lot to do so that makes it a six on the scale.
I picked five because I feel halfway there. I have a huge vision for our new home and high hopes for my nonprofit Freedom For The Taking being able to empower many people but it still feels out of reach. We are making the right steps to get there but it’s going to take a lot of time and effort and that can feel super overwhelming. So that lands me at five - it also probably has to do with the fact that I am a VERY practical person.
Either way, it was a fun conversation and I loved hearing about how each of us feels about happiness.
This morning while I was biking to my favorite coffee shop, I listened to the most recent podcast episode from Glennon Doyle’s “We Can Do Hard Things”. Here is the link:
It is an interview with Sally Abed and Alon-Lee Green. I’ll be honest - it’s a difficult listen. It was eye-opening for me to hear about what is happening in Palestine and Israel right now. It’s quite different from what we are told here in America. It’s easy for me to feel far removed from the horrific happenings over there and I comfort myself with the fact that America is trying to help out however we can. Listening to this interview gave me a perspective that I didn’t even know existed.
It was sobering. It got me thinking about the conversation of the “Happy Scale”. Suddenly my minuscule view of life expanded and I felt incredibly privileged. Here I am cycling down beautiful back roads, hearing birds chirp, and feeling the delicious wind on my face, while thousands of other humans are being killed. Those who survive live every day in terror, stuck in a country that is constantly at war.
I don’t like to know about horrible things far away because it feels hopeless and I feel powerless - and honestly, I still don’t know what I can do to help them. I do know that learning the truth is a good place to start though. Please listen to this episode. It’s so important.
Hearing about the hard struggles of others always helps me recalibrate my life view. Suddenly I feel a strong gratitude for the opportunity to move my family to a new place. It’s easy for me to get stuck on all the practicalities and challenges and forget that we are stinking lucky to be able to go find a new home when the old one isn’t right for us anymore. Millions of other people will never get to even have that choice. It makes me sick to my stomach to recall how much I complain about frivolous things. I forget how very precious my freedom is.
I know it is impossible for us to never take anything for granted. It’s just part of being human to get used to how things are and to have a very limited point of view. However, I am grateful for truths that jolt me out of my tiny perspective.
My goal with Freedom For The Taking is to remind people that freedom is there for them, but it has to be taken. All of us can get so caught up in the crappy parts of our situation that we forget how privileged we are. We have choices. Sure, it’s still hard, and choosing our freedom always involves a certain amount of pain and loss, but we are only as stuck as we decide to be.
I don’t know how I got to grow up in a free country but I do know that I don’t want to waste this precious gift. Being raised in a toxic cult gave me a VERY small taste of being trapped. Now that I am free and working hard to rebuild my life in a way that feels good to me, I want to help others see that they also have the freedom to be happy.
Fuck the number five on the happy scale. I am a solid ten. Yes, life is full of challenges and I will always have a buttload of work to do as I make my dreams become reality, but I am surrounded by a loving family and the daily privilege to choose my happiness. It doesn’t get any better than that.
Komentar