Complicated Holidays
Hey there my beloved readers,
It’s the holiday season.
This can be a time of joy, stress, and/or grief—sometimes, it can be all three.
I get it.
As families travel to get together I am reminded that I no longer stay in contact with a large part of my family and I have let go of all my old friendships. I take full responsibility for these decisions and I know I could have it all back if I was willing to put aside the safety and needs of my kids, partners, and myself.
But I won’t.
It’s not worth it to me. I have tasted freedom and I refuse to go back to living in a zoo.
Yes, I miss them. Painfully so. I often think about them and when I do, I can literally feel the grief.
But here is the truth, my friends:
There is a cost for everything.
If I want my old connections, I have to give up the safety of my family and the peace we have worked so hard to protect.
If I value myself, my kids, and my partners, I have to be willing to let go of the people who are not safe.
It sucks - having to choose.
But…it’s also a gift.
The gift of choice.
The ability to choose who we want to spend our energy on.
We moved away from our old life on purpose. We needed a fresh start. Just being in the same environment that no longer fit us felt like a drag. We had to get out. We needed a change of scenery.
I know not everyone has that option. We had to wait for the right time for everything to fall into place in order to move our family and farm. It was a complicated, complex move that just about killed us but we knew it was what we needed to do to get away from what no longer served us.
It’s going to be different for everyone. I do not know what you should do this holiday. Your situation is unique to you.
But what I do want to tell you is that you still get to choose.
You get to choose who you let into your precious space
You get to choose who to give your energy to
You get to choose what is right for your family
Others may be happy to tell you what you need to do this holiday season, but please, for the sake of your sanity, don’t fall for this controlling guilt trap.
This is your life. This is your choice.
We don’t have to get stuck in the social norms of this time of the year. Just because it’s Christmas doesn’t mean your boundaries suddenly need to be different. That’s absurd.
Listen to your body, friend. It never lies.
This holiday season can be a time of relaxation, peace and joy. I promise you. It is possible.
I will carry grief my whole life. Even losses we choose are painful.
There is no escaping that.
But I am also fucking proud of myself for finally choosing what is best for me and my family instead of caving into what others want from me.
Let this month be the month you give less fucks about other’s expectations and wishes, and more fucks about what you actually want.
I love you.
Wrapping my arms around you as this complicated season approaches.
You got this.
Коментари