A Winter Ride, A Leaping Doe, and A Courageous Woman
Wow. I just finished a 20-mile ride in 34-degree weather. There were light flurries and sleet along the way. Winter is here for good, at least for a few solid months. I thoroughly enjoyed cruising the various back roads, speckled with old farmhouses all tucked in for the season. At one point, a large doe bounded across the road in front of me. She stopped in the middle of the road with curiosity about the strange, bright object riding towards her. Then she turned and gracefully lept away across the barren field. It was another one of those breathtaking scenes that felt like food for my soul.
As I watched her bound away, over the countryside, I noticed how she ran. She wasn’t running in fear. She looked peaceful and confident but her strides were not even. After a few regular strides, she would add in a gorgeous, tall, bound into the air that looked completely effortless. She kept doing this at random, even though there was nothing noticeable that needed to be jumped over. I smiled and found myself saying out loud, “It’s just because she can.”
Today, as I type this blog, it is December, 28th. When this blog comes out it will be January 2nd, 2024. A whole fucking new year! Crazy, huh? Somehow the new year always seems to sneak up on me. One of my favorite things about the new year is the chance for a fresh start. Last year my promise to myself was to work on believing that I have value. It’s been challenging, but looking back I can see the progress I’ve made. Sometimes it was 2 steps forward and 4 steps back but I kept at it. I struggled but I didn’t give up. I was not able to get my nonprofit up and thriving but the struggles pushed me to grow. My biggest achievement this year was realizing that I do not have to hustle for my worth. I gave myself the freedom to do only what felt good to me. I was tempted on many occasions to give in and join the crazy rat race of our culture. Even now, guilt continues to knock at my door trying to convince me that I am not worth shit if I’m not making money. I can’t make the guilt go away, but I don’t let it control me anymore. My motto is, “If it doesn’t feel good to my body, then it’s not worth my energy.” From the outside, my 2023 year doesn’t look very successful. One might think I didn’t do much of anything. But I know that it was a year of me truly learning to honor myself. And that to me is way more valuable than a spreadsheet full of numbers.
The other day I was thinking about what I would like to work on in this new year. The word “courage” popped into my mind. It felt good. It felt right. Yes. This is the year for me to be courageous. Now that I feel more grounded in who I am, I want to step out and try new things. Last week I had a job interview at Harley Davidson Hideout. I think it could be a great learning opportunity. We will see if they can work with my schedule. Whatever happens and whatever I end up doing, I know that when it’s right for me, it will fall into place and feel good. I don’t plan to find one thing and then be stuck with that forever, but I do love learning new things. Life has lots to teach me and I am ready and waiting for the right opportunity.
The word courage is a noun. The Oxford Dictionary describes it as “the ability to do something that frightens one.” Learning a new skill certainly scares me but it also makes me excited. I did some research on this. An important fatty substance in our brain is called myelin. Myelin makes the signals in our neurons move faster. Learning new things, especially at older ages, aids in putting more myelin into our nerve axons resulting in a more connected brain that works faster and better. Wha-la!
What happens when we aren’t learning new things? A British research study showed that people who reported being bored over an extended amount of time had major health issues more than twice as high as those who did not report boredom. Yikes! I don’t think any of us want our brains to slow down and become less responsive. And if that isn’t enough to convince you, new experiences also cause a rush of dopamine, and let’s admit it, we’d all love some more dopamine.
There is an excellent, short article about this that you can hop over to read at https://ce.ccsu.edu/what-happens-to-your-brain-when-you-learn-a-new-skill/
if you want to read where I got this information. 🙂
I am ready for this new year. I don’t know what the hell it will hold, but one thing I can be sure of is that I will not abandon myself. I’m sure there is plenty of unexpected shit and unforeseen disappointments heading my way but ya know what? I got me. And after 36 years of complete abandonment, it feels so good to finally embrace myself. That’s some serious success right there baby.
What about you? What would you like to focus on this new year of 2024? Are you ready to challenge yourself and learn something new?
As you head into this new year, please don’t forget to celebrate the fact that you survived 2023! No matter how it turned out, the fact that you made it through is still a huge success! You did it!
Thank you for continuing to show up for your life. That’s damn beautiful. I’m grateful to have other brave humans with me on this incredible but crazy planet.
2024 is here. I hope you keep building the life that you want by taking audacious bounds just like that deer.
Not because you have to; but because you fucking can.
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