“A Stinky Lesson”

Jun 6, 20235 min read

I love nature. You guys know this. Nature is like my choice of drug. Give me nature and I am happy, even blissful. I can appreciate all of it. I love the variety. I love how many millions of unique creatures there are, from small to big. I respect them all. At least I thought I did. But after last night’s unfortunate event, I’m gonna have to draw the line.

There is nature, and then there are skunks.

That is the line. I have decided that skunks cannot possibly be a part of nature. I have officially had to place them in their own category. Now don’t get me wrong, nobody loves a black-and-white contrast more than me, hence the zebra logo for my nonprofit. But, this beautiful striped mammal, with the soft flowing fur, has got to go. Where? I don’t know. I don’t care just as long it’s somewhere far away from my farm.

Last night Nate and I were walking our dog Dayo. It was dusk and we were trying to get back before dark. It’s a peaceful, 1-mile loop around our 2 pastures. Well, most of the time it’s peaceful. What started as a power walk so we could get back in time to watch a movie, turned into a nightmare. Along the way, suddenly a skunk appeared out of a clump of honeysuckle bushes right in front of us and of course, Dayo was leading the way. Nate and I screeched to a halt and instantly started running backward, yelling and hooting at the dog trying to disengage his brain from attacking the skunk.

As you may have guessed, our attempts were in vain. Dayo locked on, summoned every bit of “domesticated stupidity” he had, and tried to bite the butt of the skunk who had already given him VERY clear warnings. “Oh, my god. You have to be kidding me,” I thought. “Why the hell has he not learned his lesson? It’s easily the 5th time this has happened to him!” But what was unfolding in front of my eyes made it very clear that he most certainly HAD NOT learned his lesson and I don’t think he ever will. The skunk gave him a solid spray. Dayo made sure to provide the skunk with an easy target as he lunged to bite its butt. But, he never got the joy of sinking his teeth in. Instead, he suddenly found himself dripping with hideous-smelling oils. He hit the ground rolling, rubbing his face all over the grass while Nate and I stood helpless. The amount of disbelief and anger that had filled our souls was almost palpable.

Now I hate when people call animals stupid or dumb. It goes against every fiber in my being. But when the reality of what just happened hit me, there I was, the words were flowing out of my mouth, “Stupid dog! What is wrong with you?” Yep. Turns out that I am not my best version, and have a hard time sticking with my values when I get angry. I think I need a sign on my farm that says “I’m sorry for the things I said when my dog got sprayed by a skunk.”

Anyways, you won’t be surprised to know that our evening took a bit of a turn. A lot of washing, scrubbing, washing again, and more scrubbing by the light of the outside porch took precedence. I was angry. Nate was quiet. Jennifer was light-hearted and made the best of it. I guess that pretty much sums up the dynamics of our nonmonogamous relationship 🙂.

It was during this de-skunking experience that I decided to remove skunks from nature. They just had to go. I couldn’t find even one microscopic cell inside me that wanted to accept them.

I sit here thinking about it, drinking my coffee, and pondering what the bigger picture might be. If I am being honest instead of angry, I know that it’s not the skunk's fault. They were just peacefully doing their thing when an ignorant predator arrived and tried to bite their backside. If someone attempted that with me they wouldn’t even have a face when I was done with them 😂. For real.

Why the hell am I blaming the skunk? Mostly because it’s SUPER inconvenient to have to wash my dog. I don’t like my fun plans being sabotaged and replaced with a stinky, sucky job. The last time he got sprayed, it was right before I was headed to bike into town, and instead I spent the morning deep cleaning our canine.

Is it just me or does anyone else get super frustrated at life sometimes? I fucking hate it when it feels like life takes the wheel from me and steers me into a ditch of drudgery. I’m always like “Who asked you to drive? Fuck off!”

Turns out that there are a lot of things in life that are out of my control. I suppose I could spend the rest of my life being angry at these things, or I could look for a way to appreciate the growth opportunities. I’m not talking about seeing life through rose-colored glasses but I am wondering how I can learn to release my need to control. These life experiences show me that I still have a lot of growing to do.

Recently Nate came into the house and told me that he got several stumps removed from the horse corral. He followed up with the news that in the process he also broke the bucket on his tractor. I was instantly frustrated because I knew this meant a lot of money and time to fix it but Nate didn’t seem ruffled. Instead, he replied with a smile, “It’s to be expected.” Shit Nate. Do you have to be so angelic?

I’ve spent a good deal licking and chewing on this statement. I feel like it could be a much better way of going through life. I think that most of my frustration comes from life not going as I expect it to. But since when did that EVER happen? Basically, never. Maybe it’s time I start accepting that fact and get better at rolling with the skunks.

As this blog comes to a close I feel that I must retract my previous statement. Those gentle mammals don’t deserve to be “un-natured”. I’m gonna have to acknowledge that it’s part of owning a farm and a dog. Dayo will continue trying to eat skunk’s butts and skunks will continue to protect themselves. I guess that’s the circle of life, or maybe more accurately “the odor of life”. Whatever the shakedown is, what matters most is that I will be learning how to be more flexible when things don’t go as planned.

I need to point out real quick that I will still allow myself to feel angry. I don’t believe it’s healthy to not allow ourselves to feel and I also don’t believe that anger is a bad thing. But I want to learn to let my feelings move through me instead of staying stuck in them. I hope that I can feel what I feel, then move on to acceptance. Shit, maybe someday I will find myself even smiling and saying “It’s to be expected.”

Learning to flow with the turbulence of life can be so hard; even fucking scary at times. Be kind to yourself.

I love you. Life is like Halloween; an unpredictable game of “Skunk-or-Treat”. We never know what life will deal us.

Sometimes it’s delicious and sometimes it’s downright smelly.

But I guess it’s to be expected 🙂.